The Right-now-beginning

I have no desire to write endless paragraphs filled with background information, therefore, I'm just going to say that 'the beginning' is from this moment right now.

Right now, I'm 2 days into being 24 years old. I live in the same city where I grew up. I talk to my family at least once a day. I may be approaching the end of a 4 year relationship (negotiations are ongoing) . I dream big but operate small. I want so much but currently have the energy for so little. When asked, I'd say I'm depressed. I just don't like who I am or where I'm at in this 'right-now-beginning.'

I thought I might start this blog to chronicle the change that I hope will come to my life. Or maybe to further chronicle my imminent downward spiral unless I find that magical Band-Aid called change that I am in such desperate need of.

I promise to tell the truth and never to sugarcoat. Afterall, there's little point in lyiing to one's self.

Coda by Dorothy Parker
There's little in taking or giving,
There's little in water or wine;
This living, this living, this living
Was never a project of mine.
Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is
The gain of the one at the top,
For art is a form of catharsis,
And love is a permanent flop,
And work is the province of cattle,
and rest's for a clam in a shell,
So I'm thinking of throwing the battle-
Could you kindly direct me to hell?